I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
