So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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