I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
