An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
