First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
