You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
