He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
