Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
