He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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