his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
