What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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