It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
