is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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