Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
