dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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