Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize