sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
