You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
