Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
