I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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