so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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