Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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