Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
vagina is talking i cant
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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