Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
