You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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