were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
