i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize