We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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