I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
