sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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