She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
