The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
