Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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