you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
