New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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