Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
