Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
