her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
