I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
