why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
