My nipple is on Facebook.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
