Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
