how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
