***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
