I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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