i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
