Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
