Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
