So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
