So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize